Dear Cat

... I've noticed that recently you've become remarkably adept at giving me dirty looks. When I decide to take a cute picture of you instead of petting you,

when I tell you to stop trying to eat my lily plant on the patio because it can make you sick, when I wake you up to get you off my bed so I can sleep,

and then when I tell you that no, you may not sleep in my room because you don't sleep, you walk all over my sensitive bits, you look at me like you're a teenager and I'm some out of touch parent that's ruining your life. 

Yes, I know it's your apartment and I just live here. But if we're going to be roommates then I'm going to have to insist upon a few ground rules. 

1) You are not to give me dirty looks when I am doing Things That Are Not Petting The Cat such as sleeping, eating, preparing food, cleaning out your litterbox, working, and standing up.

2) You are not to sit outside my bathroom, crying to be let in and shoving your paws under the door.

3) You are to...

Aw...

Hehe... what was I saying? Was it something important? Must not have been. Oh, just keep being adorable, kitty.