Monday, May 30, 2011

If I'm Going to Get Sucked In, So Are You!

It shocks me just how little I've got to tell on this blog anymore. Seriously, it's rather sad.

When I first got my blog, I wanted to post everything. Rants, observations of nekkid people, stuff about my knitting, you name it. Now, it's like I have permanent blog-block. Nothing is worthy of a post, and besides that after a Raveler posted this link online two weeks ago, my productivity has been shot to H-E-Double hockey sticks.

Don't click that link. Seriously, don't click it. You'll never get out.

It's the link for Chrome's version of Angry Birds.

If you haven't played Angry Birds yet, I don't recommend it if only because once you start, it's too cool to stop.

The basic premise is that the evil pigs have stolen the birds' eggs. Now, the birds are battling the pigs to get them back. By slingshotting themselves at the pigs.

Yes, they literally sit in a slingshot and like little feathered, kamikaze terrors from above they fly at the various and sundry structures the pigs are hiding in. Some of the birds do interesting things when clicked, like explode. Seriously. It lands somewhere, you click again, and BOOM! Nothing is left.

And I'm hooked. As is the rest of the tech-savvy world, apparently. As of this post, total downloads of Angry Birds exceeded 200 million.

That's a lot of kamikaze birds.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Letter of Termination

Dear Skylar the Dell Laptop:

It is with a somewhat heavy heart that I feel I must write this post. You have been my laptop for the past two years or so. In that time, we have shared somewhat of an intimacy that I haven't shared with most of my other previous computers. You were there when I felt crazy and needed to write angsty poetry to describe my craziness. You were there when I began my decent into the world of social media by starting not only my Facebook and Ravelry pages, but my twitter, blog, LibraryThing and DeviantArt pages as well. You were there for countless papers, long nights online, and long showings of obscure foreign films on Netflix. You have done quite a bit of work over the years for my job, barely working under the weight of the load called "Adobe." You have, indeed, been my constant companion over the last two years.

However, I should state that despite all of this, nothing you have done has been without great personal cost to me.

I have never had a day of peace in my computing with you. It has always been a fight to remain online, to work without crashing, and to run the way I ask you to. A year ago, it was discovered that you were disabled by a defective motherboard, and you handled yourself admirably. However, the replacement has not worked to my liking.

Recently, the refusal to upload a blog post was the final straw. And so, as it would be with an employee who does not meet office standards (and you would never want to feel that I was keeping you out of a sense of duty), that I feel I must fire you. You are being replaced as of today. Hand over your vast files and leave the building.

Your replacement? With any luck she will be a far better employee than you. I present:

Momo-Tan Mac.

It's been a good run, good buddy. Good, but not great. And after you've been reformatted and turned into a computer to run John's audiology software, I'm sure you'll have a much better time of things.
Creative Commons License
Help, The Stash is Attacking! When Yarn, Knitting and Growing Up Go Terribly Awry by Kimberly Lewis is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at