Saturday, January 12, 2013

New Job: Week One

Day 1:

Awake to a feeling of excitement. It's the first day of programming! Open brand new SQL software and start writing customer database. Almost finished, break for lunch.

Lunch over, start where I left off. Queries are not working properly. Notice stupid mistake. Start over. Make same stupid mistake. Try again. Make exact same stupid mistake for the third time! Hit head on desk, start over.

End of day, save work, log off.


Day 2:

Awake to begin more coding. Suddenly realize all of yesterday's work is gone. Whaaaat??? Discover that this particular SQL software requires a link to a server before it will save work. Frown. Jerry rig Dropbox to act as an onboard server. Start from scratch.

Make same mistake as yesterday. Yell "CRAP!" and start over.

Save to Dropbox, feel smug.


Day 3:

The software is burning my work in front of me at the end of the day. Dropbox is not SQL compatible. Growl and call boss to get server info (which maybe I should have gotten on day one). Software refuses to hook up to company server. Call server host.

Server hosting company is largely useless. Do online research. Do more online research. Eyes strain. Getting a headache. Call hosting company again. Still useless.

Try one thing. Try another. Call hosting company for the third time, get someone knowledgeable (3rd time's the charm). Discover that this particular software is incompatible with their servers. Swear.

Download server supported software. Try to connect. Fail. Try again. Call hosting company. Back to useless techs.

Sigh and log off. Knit a few rows to prevent myself from throwing computer out the window.


Day 4:

Grumble and try to log on again. Cannot connect. Call hosting company. Largely useless again. Do online research. Find crucial missing component to cold fusion. Consider winning the Nobel Prize for science. Try to connect again. Fail. Hopes dashed.

More online research. Open mind to the secrets of the universe. It's all so clear now! I can see a solution to most of the world's problems (it involves pie. Lots and lots of pie)! And hey, I've discovered Unified Field Theory! Try to connect. Fail. Weep quietly.

Call hosting company. Spend two whole freaking hours on the phone with a tech. Still can't connect, and in the process I've developed a headache from being forced to listen to the high-pitched, screeching noise their hold service considers to be music for easily half an hour.

Service ticket is made. Log off and take some aspirin.


Day 5:


Fail at connecting to the stupid database. Sigh. Realize my entire week has ended with nothing to show for it but a twitch over my right eye and a deep desire to begin drinking heavily. I am code's sad and annoyed slave. I exist solely to please the deranged deity in charge of computers.

Log off and knit for awhile.

Well played, computer. Well played.

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Help, The Stash is Attacking! When Yarn, Knitting and Growing Up Go Terribly Awry by Kimberly Lewis is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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